We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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