Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
