I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
