her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
