i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
