I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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