That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
