dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
