That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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