Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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