So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
