It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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