omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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