What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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