you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
