I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
