People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Operation Purity has been aborted
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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