He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
