we're blogging at a bar
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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