They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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