you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize