Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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