Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
