i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
