He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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