It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
