he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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