like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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