You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
