not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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