yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
