the day after is always just damage control
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
