So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
