Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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