he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
