great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
