I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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