i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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