the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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