Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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