Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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