When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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