Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
