I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
