I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
