i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
