is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
