Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
