Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
