Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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