I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
