She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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