turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She tied me up with her honor cords...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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