if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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