addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
