I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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