Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Randomize
