sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
