Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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