Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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