Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My life is pants optional.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
