my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
