hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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