And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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