Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
