And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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