yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
