marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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