I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
