All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
